is it really simple? (day forty eight)

there are always those thoughts that you have in the back of your mind. like you know they exist, even if you aren’t always thinking about them. sometimes they’re little realizations that i have a spanish test, or that spring break is coming up. other times, they’re not as elementary.

i still don’t understand why some people are smart and others aren’t as much. maybe intelligence varies greatly, and i’ve only been exposed to a little sliver of it. but why is it that without trying, some people get things so easily that myself and others are grasping for? what is the difference? how are there people who live every day comfortably with their “healthy” bmi* and eat much more than the ones who are so desperate to lose weight? the people who have all the friends anyone could ever want just by being themselves?

i’m often hyperaware of oversimplifications. i know that a certain topic can’t be fully discussed in a 6 minute video no matter how hard anyone tries, because things are messy and complicated. and so i am always wary of ted talks. they’re fun to listen to, especially if you recognize the speaker or are looking for something really really in particular. and so i was judgmental when i watched mel robbin’s tedtalk about screwing yourself over. and i read the comments before i even started the video, as if someone else’s opinion that is altered by a million little things would somehow decide how her advice could help me. and though i recognize that her method (do something now because you’re never going to feel like it) is almost so simple that it’s genius, it’s unspecific enough that it’ll probably come back to me when i least expect it. i felt invigorated after watching her speak, like yeah society can’t tell me what i can and can’t do. it’ll probably come to use like a bucket list, in the way that it’s a great goal but ultimately things get in the way. but then again, i’m going full circle because that last sentence is basically the excuse she talked about.

i suggest you watch it if you’re feeling like me- anxious and desperate for a nice change.

*i only use quotations because health isn’t really determined by a number, but i need something concrete here.


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