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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “I Walk the Line.”

considering i only go to church a few times a year, it’s not a surprise that i am unsure of how good of a person i am (not that i’m saying that either are synonymous with the other, but i was brought up believing that faith almost always alludes to a good heart). i haven’t hit anyone or ruined a person’s life, and i generally would participate in community service in my free time, but at the same time i haven’t always stood up for what i believed in or defended what needs support. i struggle with being myself, in finding the balance between selfishness and altruism. and i think of the role models i’ve had, but they have never been in these kinds of situations.

when i’m muddling through my feelings, i often think that audrey hepburn, my top female of all time, couldn’t be bothered with this sort of foolish back-and-forth. she lived through world war ii, dealing with malnutrition and helping with the dutch resistance. she went on to be, not just kind and beautiful and unique, but incredibly talented. i can’t even imagine going on with that kind of upbringing and turning out that successful. reading her son’s biography, i kept realizing that everything about her was, not just sweet, but honest. it seemed that her heart was so big, yet it had no room for evil.

it’s crazy to think how much the world has changed. the issues i’m dealing with now can’t even compare to what was happening less than a century ago. the norm has changed, and that kind of scares me. how am i supposed to act like someone else when the circumstances and contexts are always changing?

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where do i stand (day ninety five)

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