phenomena (day fifty eight)

everyone is talking about the dress. i’m so sick of hearing about it that i wouldn’t divulge in any more details except that you can look up the bolded words and science suddenly comes to play. i first heard about it online, where i saw various people posting about it. didn’t care too much, mostly because there was no context. and then my friend mentioned it (via group chat) and suddenly no one would shut up about it. and i made the mistake of talking to another friend about it. at this point i’m honestly so fed up with this whole fiasco that i might punch the next person who brings it up, so naturally when he tried to convince me that i was wrong i just didn’t bother to respond. and today, everyone suddenly keeps talking about it. it’s brought up in math class, and asked about during lunch. and i don’t know why, but i have the natural feeling to bolt. like this whole topic has deviated so much from something tangible to something inconclusive. with all the hype it’s receiving, i wouldn’t be surprised if cnn did a special on it. this seems to happen with so many other things that come up. a friend will start talking about her feelings for her boyfriend, and i’ll just bolt. i’ve watched crime shows my entire life, and probably seen over 500 dead bodies throughout those episodes, but i can’t handle listening to people arguing about something so… idiotic. it’s overplayed, and i’m pretty sure it just rose to fame yesterday. the conversation is about as special as the joke “how do five gay guys walk… in one direction“. not offensive, but perhaps offensively annoying.


darby tried to focus. breathe… normally. just in and then out. it didn’t work. these nerves were getting the best of her, and all she could notice was how loud her heart was beating. or maybe… it was just her. they had always described it in books and movies, where the quirky female protagonist narrates how everyone can just hear your heartbeats. you’ve done this for your entire life. how is it that you can’t do what anyone can do at this moment? she tried to concentrate on the boots of the kids in front of her. she thought about how they all resembled each other, wearing sweaters in such similar shades of gray that they may as well had been picking shirts off of color swatches. her eyes wandered to their pants, how expensive they must be just for the name of the brand. and how their furry boots looked at most, comfortable, alone, but almost aggressive together, their various heights and (again) similar shades to almost prove their friendship. she looked at xavier’s new haircut, and for a second was so shocked by how spiky it was, wondering how much gel could possibly be in the few inches on his head. and this worked… for a second. and then, she made eye contact. just for a split second- she couldn’t help it. and she decided that she couldn’t decide what colour his eyes were, because that would involve staring at the top of his face for more than the biweekly glances she always stole. her spanish teacher opened up the heavy wooden door, accidentally slamming it onto the unevenly textured walls. and this surprised darby enough to avoid walking into xavier and his nearly lethal hair, both of whom had stopped to avoid colliding with the freshmen who talked like this as if they were neighbourhood women gossiping in the 50’s about how lena from the end of the block got pregnant and they just knew that it wasn’t harold’s. switch their monochrome outfits and they may as well have been part of a gardening club. he looked away awkwardly, and almost immediately looked forward again as if she hadn’t glanced up at him. but he was too determined, and darby knew that he had seen her. so with one turn, she walked into her spanish room for fourth period and tried to shake off the discomfort of that non encounter.

fight or flight (day fifty seven)


love is the one wild card (day thirty)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Teen Age Idol.”

like most teen girls (i refuse to use the word tween), i worshipped taylor swift. and i still do. she represents what we all wanted to be at some point- beautiful, talented, genuine and loved. not just to be all that, but to be recognized as someone who has all those traits. there’s a large section of tumblr dedicated to her words, which are so deep i could literally swim in them. i question my speaking habits when i realize again and again that over 50% of my words include “um” and “yeah” and awkward fumbles of explanations. i love the way she’s grown as a person over the past year, and her thoughts have really matured and evolved to the point that she speaks for so many. i always wonder how she became to be so successful, shattering all these records and setting up new benchmarks for other artists. she really has it all- a great voice, stainless public image, seven grammy’s (and counting!!) and awesome fans. she’s such a people person, and everything she does gets her in the good graces of millions of people everywhere. i’m glad that she’s enjoying the single life and proving to skeptics that love extends past domestic relationships. to this day, i love her because she’s what i want to be.


*this entire post was written from a hardcore swiftie’s perspective


so i guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons (day twenty nine)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “He’s (She’s) So Fine.”

it’s odd how once you like someone you start to love everything about them. everything is suddenly an adorable quirk or you just happen to have this crazy coincidence. this isn’t the even soulmates that have dated for years kind of connection, but something i often find myself doing every time i start up a new crush (which happens more often than anyone could expect). this makes me think that everything they do is special. there’s one boy who i have never talked to who i just adore because of his sense of humour and personality. i don’t think he’s conventionally hot but everything he does seem to make him seem like someone i’d fall in love with. we’re nowhere close to being in the same social circle* so it’s hard to tell, but i think about the things i’ve seen him do and i realize he could be a lot more egotistical, but he’s not and that’s what appeals so much to me. and there’s another boy who i just get so nervous around for no reason, and i don’t even think we have a connection. i could literally be another face in the crowd to him but his presence can make me question everything from my breathing to my eyesight.

**i can’t even compare them to me. it’s like they’re on a parallel level in some alternate universe.

i realize that so many of these crushes start purely through coincidence or incidence, and if i had missed a certain action or my schedule was just two classes different then things could be so different. but i suppose all love is through happenstance, so i’m as close to love as anyone else.


tell me about yourself… (day twenty two)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Fireside Chat.”

Fireside Chat

What person whom you don’t know very well in real life — it could be a blogger whose writing you enjoy, a friend you just recently made, etc. — would you like to have over for a long chat in which they tell you their life story?

i’ve only really and truly spoken to you once. actually, scratch that. the several times we spoke that night, in shallow and previous conversations, seem to add up to one good experience. but you and i are so… awkward. i think you’re naturally quiet, and i just get so flustered around you. i just want another way to know about you besides second hand experiences and social media scourings. i am so curious as to know what your personality is like, if you even have one, because right now my knowledge about you is limited. i want to know what tv shows you’re interested in, and what music you listen to. do you like taylor swift, because that’s a deal breaker. what’s your opinion on old-fashioned ways of communication, because i think it’s so behind the times yet genuine that i can only aspire to live my life using them. where would you like to go in the world, because i have this overhanging fear of only seeing one part of the world and having this terribly narrow mindset. would we call each other, if either of us just had the courage to make a move? or would we hide behind the screens, as we did that night. would you watch crime shows with me, and accompany me on unrealistic adventures? you started as one person, a specific person i have trouble breathing normally around. but slowly, you became a mystery, an enigma, that i can only see you as the generic gray icon for when you have no caller id. we haven’t met yet, but i’m still excited to know that you’re out there. as i read back, i realize that while this started about a boy, but it slowly became things i’ve wanted in a best friend. maybe i want one or the other, but dating someone i already love sounds great