blame and guilt (day one hundred sixteen)

there’s a reason it’s called retail therapy. and i hate it. i can’t decide if i hate shopping. i the ten minutes before and after swiping the card, and there’s this wave of guilt going through me. except instead of the woosh it’s a faint “you don’t need this”. and i don’t. i don’t think most people do. i, like many do have things to wear. i didn’t need the dress i bought online a few weeks ago, even though i love it a lot and have already worn it twice. i don’t need the bathing suit i just bought less than twenty minutes ago online (but i feel like i do really need it), and i feel like they have won. who? i’m still trying to figure that out, but for now it’s corporate america. i honestly feel that brands like j. crew and loft target suburban people who have normal lives but would like more. i swear their main customers are people who hate their decision to stay in the suburbs and mistakenly take that frustration out on their credit cards. they know there is more than clothes, but taking the leap to do what they want is too scary.

i can say this, because i am one of them.