the trouble with concerts

concerts are magical things. you walk in with definite expectations, and come out with a definite experience compact into 3 hours of music. it’s not bad, but you never know what you’re going to get. even if you’ve seen the artist and know all the lyrics, something is bound to surprise you.

my first concert was in the seventh grade, when taylor swift went on the north american leg of her speak now tour. it was an odd time in my life, because i had made my first real group of friends but i still was quite alone. to this day, most of us are intact and spend even more time together. we sat in upper box seats, and it was this crazy experience. you can spend hours laughing over an artist’s interviews and memorizing the breathes and accents in songs, but to be less than a thousand feet from someone you’ve only ever seen on a screen or heard in recording is magical.

then, i attended the red tour. i was never the biggest fan during the time of the concerts, which is something i regretted. of course i was a fan, but then the logistics of parking and buddy-systems got too nerve-wracking. i’m a huge fan now, and i can only hope to see her on the 1989 world tour with haim and vance joy (two artists i was a huge fan of even before she said that they would be opening up for her).

then, last april, i saw karmin in a small venue- no more than a thousand people. it was a really safe experience, for some reason, and the seating had general admission in the front so i was really close to amy and nick. i don’t really listen to them anymore, and i think my interest was at its peak a month within the experience, but i’m excited to see what else they have in store.

and now, the holy grail.

a little over two weeks after seeing karmin, i saw bastille in a place that i generally overlooked. the entire experience was a little coincidental, because my the person i went with was the only really big fan at school, and i just mentioned it after school in a teacher’s room. to this day, i’m still incredulous that four of my favorite people in the world were less than forty feet away from me for hours. the time i spent watching their live performances and smiling over their down-to-earth interviews could not prepare me for the concert at all. i remember they came out, but woody (the drummer) came first, and he just put his arm out to wave and i thought to myself they’re here. just a few miles from where i live.and dan went into the audience during flaws and i just about died even though i never touched his grey hoodie.

so… this originally was going to mention how concerts are almost always problematic, being either you need someone to go with or it’s a school night or holy mother of god that’s expensive. and then when you get there everyone’s holding up their phones and obscuring the view rather than enjoying that brief moment. but in retrospect, it’s all worth it. the money, the time, the sweat, and the tears are all worth it.


girl (and boy) power (day sixty seven)


happy international women’s day! it’s crazy how prominent feminism has become within the past few years (at least in my mind). i have to admit it probably hadn’t crossed my mind before 2013 or 2014. of course, when i was younger, i believed that girls should have the same opportunities as boys, and i probably tried to toe the social line of what boys and girls could and couldn’t do. i think, more than anything else, the women in my life have influenced all the decisions i’ve made. my mom, without fail, will hand me tissues and talks me through the worst parts of my crying bouts, whether i want her to or not. my sister always helped me through my toughest decisions and provided advice that never bothered to cross my mind. the success of these two, plus countless other women, have really reminded me of what feminism is about.

it’s 2015, and the word feminist creates a conundrum whenever mentioned. sometimes, “aggressive” people declaring everything misogynistic on tumblr. other times, people complaining about the previously mentioned aggressors. maybe it’s a quote from a celebrity, male or female, that stirs up some controversy (or praise). i think feminism becoming more universal is such a controversial concept because it’s so new. not the idea, or the name itself, but the notion that it is not constricted to a few radical individuals. and there’s new information and knowledge coming out about it everyday, that we step around the topic.

i am not opposed to the people labeled aggressive (i think what they’re doing is awesome because they’re passionate), but i think it’s hard to choose your battles in this war for equality. sometimes it’s the smallest stuff that irks me, like the same people praising sam smith about his acceptance speech at this year’s who slammed taylor swift for her’s in 2013, when they’re both thanking past flames for influencing their music. it’s definitely not sam smith’s issue, but i think that while this is a bit insignificant in the whole scheme of gender equality, it’s an important realization to make.

so many of my friends hate feminism because they think it’s man-hating or that it’s being too discussed. but i think that the fuss is important. i don’t want a factor, something i was born as and love to be, so trivial as gender to determine how much money i get as opposed to the guy next to me. i’m tired of being told that it’s okay if my grades are mediocre, that if i have great manners and look good enough i could just marry my way to success.

so yeah, i am a feminist.

a video that deepened my view on feminism (it may have 6 million views but i can’t say it’s overrated)


it’s surreal how different i react to something so… constant in the span of just a few years. i’m so unmoved by snow that i haven’t taken a picture of it even though my first snow of 2015 was days ago. however, considering i live where i live, it’s a little confusing to determine what constitutes as snow.

but yeah, school was finally cancelled. i’m dreading returning, since i feel like there will be a bunch to cover in so much less time, but it was a nice break. not exactly how i intended for it to go, but nice overall.


i got waffle house. of any food establishment, i must say waho is the fav. i used to omelets and hashbrowns for the most part, but after becoming an avid parks and recs fan, i started getting whipped cream and waffles. it’s actually delicious, and a lot lighter than eggs. still, i can only have waffle house a few times a year to avoid detesting it, but each time i go i push the line between deliciousness and nausea.

and then…


grizfolk favorited one of my tweets. i was looking at workout clothes in dick’s sporting goods and i heard a familiar song being played. i was so excited to recognize that it was grizfolk, who supported bastille on tour.


and of course, playing around with graphic design. i have yet to see more than a snippet of taylor’s performance, but i’ve loved the brit awards ever since bastille, rudimental and ella eyre teamed up and created the catchiest live mashup ever.

kind of a surreal day, especially since i spent hours working on a “surreal”

a snow day in pictures (and some words) (day fifty six)


the key to internet success (day fifty one)

this title is a bit misleading because i have not found out how to become an online icon nor would i tell you. just being honest. to me, i see becoming a prominent blogger or vlogger (or whatever) as kind of the same thing as losing weight- it’s possible, it seems, to everyone but me. and because of that, there are countless ways to go about it and many of the most successful got there naturally.

for someone who currently has a little over twenty followers on her blog (thank you by the way… i think that’s really cool even though it’s a really low number), i think about social network fame quite often. i think it’s just the inquisitive side of me that comes out from my overabundance of time on the internet, but it makes me quite paranoid. i’m at the that time of the school year where i begin to think that having just one successful text post would change my life. with technology becoming a frequent part in most peoples’ lives, it seems that becoming youtube famous or having a trendy and successful (yet hipster) blog is all that most people want. i kind of get that, because i’ve felt the desire for both (and for taylor swift to follow me on tumblr). but then i realize that the people i look up to the most, in terms of recording their lives for the rest of the world to see, didn’t do it for the perks. they had a message and a viewpoint, and were just creative enough to be found and liked.

i always get so caught up in things that irritate me- one of the biggest things i can’t stand looking into the comment section and seeing “i love bruno mars so much!11¡¡¡¡¡¡ if you have time, could you please check out my covers… my dream is to make music for the world to see 🙂 <3” it’s the equivalent of those big blogs on tumblr lying about how great a product or company is and their other big blogged friends adding unrealistic positive comments when reblogging. typing this out makes me realize how pathetic i’m being right now.

Screen Shot 2015-02-21 at 12.44.03 AM

in an overthinking world, it’s nice to know there are candid people setting us all straight.


when will i ever party like it’s 1989?? (day fifty)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “My Hero.”

like most of america (especially right now), i love taylor swift. my affection of her is shown by the largeness of her tag on this site, memorization of every song, and of course… abundance of reaction gifs from her cameos or live performances.

people refer to her success as one of an ugly duckling, which i see a bit. i’m saying this because she was a bullied for her unorthodox taste (she was actually adorable as a kid and young teen), but. but then, she made it her own. she’s the most inconspicuous of world-dominators if i may say so. as pretty, talented and affluential she is, that’s what makes her stand out to me. before the release of 1989, before she really decided to become happy by choice, she was always bashed. and once she stopped caring, it’s as if the world became her blank canvas to throw paint on. and it somehow ended up looking like a salvador dalí masterpiece.

granted, she’s a great singer and even greater songwriter, but this never works for me. it’s like i’m on a diet- i always switch back and forth between caring so much to caring so little about how other people think of me. many people i know are fans of hers, which i find kind of odd because their personalities epitomize what she spoke out against. she’s like a beacon of hope- if i find something i care that much about, and work towards it, i too can earn 7 grammys (seriously though, maybe i’ll amount to bigger things). but then again, life is gray and we’re someone’s antagonist, love interest, secondary character, etc.

she’s coming by for the 1989 world tour in a few months, and i’m heartbroken i don’t have tickets. i’ll be even more dejected if haim is also opening up for that date (along with vance joy- this sounds like a dream) but i guess i’ll just… party like it’s 1989



love is the one wild card (day thirty)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Teen Age Idol.”

like most teen girls (i refuse to use the word tween), i worshipped taylor swift. and i still do. she represents what we all wanted to be at some point- beautiful, talented, genuine and loved. not just to be all that, but to be recognized as someone who has all those traits. there’s a large section of tumblr dedicated to her words, which are so deep i could literally swim in them. i question my speaking habits when i realize again and again that over 50% of my words include “um” and “yeah” and awkward fumbles of explanations. i love the way she’s grown as a person over the past year, and her thoughts have really matured and evolved to the point that she speaks for so many. i always wonder how she became to be so successful, shattering all these records and setting up new benchmarks for other artists. she really has it all- a great voice, stainless public image, seven grammy’s (and counting!!) and awesome fans. she’s such a people person, and everything she does gets her in the good graces of millions of people everywhere. i’m glad that she’s enjoying the single life and proving to skeptics that love extends past domestic relationships. to this day, i love her because she’s what i want to be.


*this entire post was written from a hardcore swiftie’s perspective


welcome to new york, it’s been waiting for you

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Terminal Time.”

it’s odd. airports can be some of the most unpleasant places, with the angst-filled beginning to family vacations, public bathrooms and unpredictable temperatures, but i love spending time in them. if you’re spending time inside an airport, you’re either waiting to board or waiting for someone else. either way, it’s the king of all metaphors- a new beginning. my flights are rarely delayed- in fact my family usually rushes to terminals and gates. i’ve even caused my dad to miss a flight, but that’s another story. i’ve rarely had the opportunity to really explore an airport, but it holds all these possibilities (mostly of types of food, but still).

my favorite airport is, by far, jfk international. while i was waiting for the person to pick me up for camp (it turns out that he had been a few feet away from me the entire time- his backpack was covering the words on his shirt), i started reading catcher in the rye. it was a rocky beginning for me, and the fact that holden spend the entire novel wandering around new york flew over my head. i ate an overpriced burger in a diner near the destinations and luggage area and tried to pay attention to the novel, but it was impossible. it ended taking the entire summer to finish that short book, only with the excitement of my more northern friends to fuel me.

going home from jfk was a much different experience. from a tourist’s perspective, it was hard to tell that you were in new york. everything seemed dark as i ate my panda express (i definitely should’ve gone with shake shack), as if “the city that never sleeps” was nowhere near. it might just have been the crappy time i had at camp, but i was really dejected at not being able to roam around more. i wish i had gotten a cheap massage or manicure or bought some better magazines, but i was hurried and the last thing i wanted to do was buy one of those cheap sweatshirts in hudson news or something. maybe i would’ve read some kurt vonnegut if i had found a quality bookstore, or found a lounge area better than the stiff chairs in the gates.

well, no use dwelling in the past. i do hope that i go back soon.