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full moon: times are a changing (day one hundred eighteen)

change is such an odd thing in that you rarely recognize it happening. or at least, i only notice it in retrospect. maybe i was never observant enough or assumed it would be a one-time deal until it happened enough that you just stop noticing it as separate occasions and let it become the norm. sometime between two weeks ago and now, i just became better. i sleep more, i eat more healthily, i seem to be funnier, i’m working better at schoolwork, and to be honest, i think i look better (i started wearing mascara and straightening my hair). i’m glad that all this is happening, and though this seems to affect other things, i’m okay. because what i’ve accomplished were my objectives. it’s okay that my ideas for design aren’t as sharp and i read novels more slowly and i’m watching less tv. because i think i’m happy

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academic mourning (day one hundred and six)

as you can see from the title of this post, the background is quite somber.

throughout the years, i’ve had parts of my life magnified to help define myself. it varied from being just an overall good kid to my body to my friends, possessions, and most recently, my grades. i seem to be in this horrible cycle of getting bad grades and moping for just a little too long to do well enough in the next opportunity (i drown my sorrows by watching television). but when the series is over (ahem skins) or you have some other kind of reality check, the prospect of opportunity becomes scary. not terrifying, but a passive kind of looming-over-you. it seems inappropriate to jump right into a new opportunity, so after blanking during my chemistry test, i watched an hour of bones and here i am, typing and wondering if i should be doing my homework. but as much as i hate positivity when i’m feeling down, some things are really pushing me to improving.

i have:

  • basically an infinite playlist that won’t distract me since i’ve started listening to the national. i’m a new fan, so most of the songs sound like the others, but i hope in the time to come that i’ll be able to differentiate my favorites.
  • new flair pens (i’ve got 12; i will make sure not to push down too harshly)
  • the weekend. i always think that i’ll become well rested and suddenly replenished over a two and a half day break, but it never seems to work out that way. maybe i’ll renew my books (i haven’t gotten even a third way into americannah and i’m still on the namesake of welcome to the monkey house).

i’m hoping for the best.

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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Nothin’ But A Good Time.”

as a high schooler, it’s impossible to imagine a day without worrying about school. even during breaks, i’ve always had to do extra work (you can see why i hate summer now). of course i’m still a sophomore, but it’s still hard getting everything done.

if i had a day to do whatever i wanted, with no obligations at all, it’d go a little something like this:

wake up at 10 am. make a breakfast quesadilla or a smoothie

and then i’d just read. for the rest of the day, i hope. i was an avid reader when i was younger (i once won a stereo in the second grade that i still use for taylor swift cd’s), but as time went on schoolwork and extracurriculars started taking precedence. i am by no means busier than any of my friends, but i’ve been told that i move and act slowly so that could definitely hinder my scheduling. i just started americanah by chimamanda ngozi adichie and it has such an interesting beginning. i’m only on page six, but the narrator’s words almost sound angsty and sarcastic, something i wouldn’t expect from such a thick book with a dark-ish cover. i also subscribed to two magazines (teen vogue and seventeen) that have yet to come, but in the mean time i’d be getting caught up with time.

and of course, netflix. i can’t seem to finish a series, so i’ve got to work on completing merlin, bones, unbreakable kimmy schmidt, skins and friends.

an unattainable free day (day one hundred and two)

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who says (day seventy five)

04-fresh-off-the-boat.w529.h352.2x

i’ve read and heard opinions from both sides of the argument, but in my opinion (as a first-generation chinese) this show has one of the most original plots i’ve ever encountered. it’s not just laugh-out-loud funny and entirely accurate, but it has my parents intrigued whenever i’m watching in the kitchen. granted, they’re interested in anything chinese (i appreciate how their patriotism still lies with a country they left twenty years ago), but it’s an accomplishment to get my mom caring about american television.

it sounds trite, but i can honestly relate to this show, even more than i can identify with anyone from parks and recreation or friends*. i distinctly remember the excitement i had from bringing lunchables (barbeque chicken shake-ups) to school, instead of buying, because that’s what all the other kids were doing and even now, still doing extra work during breaks and weekends.

of course, this show isn’t perfect. maybe it’s just my family, but my mom didn’t magically befriend her neighbour with a mutual love for stephen king or let me have a job as a child. the show is simplistic, packing a much neater experience than what i went through, but even with it’s slight pitfalls i am thankful for an unorthodox plot. i started watching weeks after it premiered because i was wary of the show because of reviews, but now i realize that i can’t take those people seriously. half aren’t even asian, so they can’t call racism on a show that shows experiences that all asians will eventually go through. it’s based on a memoir by a first generation taiwanese man, so it’s not our fault that we find solace in a humourous portrayal of adolescence.

*even though i’m treated like a gary/larry, i’m truly half april half leslie. and 100% phoebe apparently

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anthropologically speaking (day seventy three)

note that this sounds pretentious because vicky (the actual author of this blog) has continuously watched six seasons of bones and therefore feels much smarter than she actually is. in all reality she is living vicariously through several attractive characters in hopes of feeling better about her life.

i watch crime shows. like a lot. mostly bones, psych, law and order:svu, sherlock, and castle. sometimes ncis if i’m exercising. and i have a pretty considerable fear of death, ranging back from when i was much younger. my mom (bless her naïve heart) would love for me to stop all watching anything related to mystery, which is as likely as becoming valedictorian of her genius class or a sculptor. i guess i can see how she thinks the two are related, but i must say i still don’t agree. i’ve been worried that i’m going to die in an er room or drown at sea since i was seven, much earlier than when i started watching any crime shows. that fear comes from an irrational brain, more adept at creating impossible scenarios rather than understanding chemistry. i was a curious child, and way beyond her years in terms of interests, so i read reader’s digest horror stories instead of playing with dolls or watching barney.

i guess what i’m saying is i won’t give up one of my favorite pastimes for an unlikely aspiration. obviously, the good outweighs the bad, and if watching two hours of forensic anthropology or police interrogation is what it takes to not explode at school, then so be it. anyways, the scariest part of bones is the bugs, not the skeletons.

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new skins (day forty three)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “New Skin.”

mostly recently, i’ve been seriously getting exhausted with schoolwork and academics overall. it’s sad mostly because i try and my grades are mediocre at best, and i seem to be surrounded by people who don’t need great grades because they have some special talent to back them up or are just amazing at everything. everyone runs and basically saves the world and i sit at home and watch tv. like a lot of tv. as in i like the characters, the real a-holes themselves, more than i like my friends sometimes.

of all the shows i’ve ever watched on netflix, skins is my favorite. it’s just the right kind of show to watch on your computer, especially since everything is so 2006-esque. everyone does drugs and parties, and i question all the time if that’s just in tv and movies. the closest i get to that is reblogging things on tumblr. i know for a fact that instead of going to a school dance two of my friends (and i) are studying chemistry and another is going through old pictures. i suppose it’s just the area we live in. i’ve heard tales about what people in my grade have supposedly been doing, and i’m honestly not shocked. not because they give off the party vibe, but because i’ve been so exposed to it online.

if i could live like anyone for a year, i’d say cook from skins would be the obvious choice. we’re polar opposites- he’s male, british and entirely reckless. a real bad boy without trying, mostly because he doesn’t care about anyone, but he seems to be able to do what he wants with no repercussions. i wake up, go to school, study, watch tv and basically repeat. and i think i will for the next few years (minus the tv watching if i can really pull it together) nonstop, and then i’ll have to go to college and find a job and live on my own and find someone (like a dog) and life begets life and whatnot. but in the one and a half seasons that i’ve seen cook, he’s done everything from almost doing it with a lesbian to nearly getting killed by a drug lord, and he seems to be okay. of course i recognize that tv shows have to have tight, exciting plots but i wonder what it’d be like to live. no one on that show seems to worry about academics, which makes me question if it was/still is like that in bristol or just 2009. what would it be like to just live, and not have to worry about planning for the future? what kind of a person would i become? hopefully, a better one.

James_Cook_-_2

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enjoy it because it’s happening (day twenty seven)

it’s not quite 10:30, but i’m exhausted. it may have been tennis tryouts or all the chamomile tea i drink, but i think i’m gonna call it a night. but i made the new year’s resolution to write everyday, and without any inspiration i must do the most boring thing in the world- talk about my day.

well, first of all, this semester has been… questionable. sometimes i’m having the time of my life, laughing around over a terribly awkward assembly, and other times i feel like my friends aren’t even my friends. it’s quite odd, but my new schedule has made things easier. i’ve signed up for a new art class and i have an extra free period because of the two electives i was assigned to last semester. in graphic design, we’re redesigning book covers, and i just finished rereading perks of being a wallflower a few hours ago so it seems to be the most obvious choice. the cover is pretty straightforward and i think it accompanies the story pretty well, but the idea i have is too good to turn down. the project is going to take some serious effort, and i’m not even done planning it. but i’m excited beyond belief- design is something i’ve always appreciated and a hobby i’ve recently picked up. the interest in graphic design makes watching commercials and reading advertisements different. i mostly criticize aloud even though i technically couldn’t make anything better.

i’m also rewatching twin peaks, which is odd since it was so hard to finish. the show’s incredibly dense, and i only started watching because dan smith always seems to reference it in songs/music videos and interviews. nevertheless, i’ve thoroughly enjoyed the pilot and seeing the first appearance of agent cooper. somewhere in the endless numbers of murky episodes, i really started to become fond of the show. maybe it’s the reassuring promise that the mystifying music will be in every episode, or the fact that most people my age don’t watch the show, but i now claim this show to be my own. it’s a fandom i’ve relished being a part of, especially since it’s coming back in 2016. before knowing of the return, it was quite the experience to enjoy something that has been technically dead for over twenty years. odd how i see things differently after this information has come out.

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